i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
