I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
