you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
vagina is talking i cant
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
