# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize