I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
