If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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