pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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