We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
