Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
false alarm. still invincible.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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