I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
