So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
