Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize