My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
