please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
