So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
