rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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