so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i barfeds in our rink
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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