Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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