Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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