Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize