It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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