i think i have two assholes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
