you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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