I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
