youre lurking in front of me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
