We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
