I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was like giving head to a cactus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
