he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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