he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
