It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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