I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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