dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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