Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
