I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
