they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
