I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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