dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He is an equal opportunity slut.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize