I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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