Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
