OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
