Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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