its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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