it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
