I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
