We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
