you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
