oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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