So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think i got beer on your cat.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
