Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
