Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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