Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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