alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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