Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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