weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
