is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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