Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
