This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
