Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
