So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
