My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
