your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
