so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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