please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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