can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
