he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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