I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
