Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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