remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
